Ashes and legends
by Karen Winchester
Summary: Season 11 finale. Sam's POV before Dean said goodbye. Sad!Sam BigBro!Dean "His  brother was going to die, and there was nothing he could do about it more than accepting it,embracing all the feelings that would eventually come with that loss. He was far from ready to face that to happen though..."


Ashes and legends

" _The road to Manderley lay ahead. There was no moon. The sky above our heads was inky black. But the sky on the horizon was not dark at all. It was shot with crimson, like a splash of blood. And the ashes blew towards us with the salt wind from the sea_ "

Spnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspnspn

Sam remained silent as Dean looked at his mother's grave with sadness and redemption. His body was not tense, but the total opposite. It looked defeated, like it had been invisibly beated till the point that there was no more space for pain or any other feeling. Sam didn't know the exact thoughts that his brother was having,but he was sure that whatever those thoughts were, they were just not what he wanted to hear. The pain he was feeling already was unbearable, so he guessed that the worst was yet to come.

His brother was going to die, and there was nothing he could do about it more than accepting it,embracing all the feelings that would eventually come with that loss. He was far from ready to face that to happen though.

What if the world exploded and burned for once and forever? What if for once they could live, or better said, die in peace, knowing that none of them would miss each other's presence? Why were they the ones to sacrifice each other to make others happy? When had the hunting life consumed the thin line between what was the right thing to do and what was an insane plan to get done without thinking twice about it?

It wasn't fair. Sam was gonna lose his brother again,and this time there was no deal that could bring him back. Not even Crowley or Castiel would. His brother would explode along with the bomb that was located inside his chest. In one hour, he would be alone to face his own messed up self and the remains of his brother, the ones that time would forget.

"You don't have to do this" said Sam in low voice, trying to convince his brother to stop everything. Deep down,he could admit that there was no hope for a plan B, but he didn't wanna say it aloud. Doing so would mean that he was 'okay' with his elder Dean's plans. He was smarter than that.

"Yes, I do" replied Dean quietly, patting him on his right shoulder before walking towards Rowena, Cass, Crowley and Chuck were.

Sam didn't move, didn't even looked back as his brother walked away from him. Now he was alone with his mother's grave in front of him, picturing himself making a simple cross with the carved initials D.W on it. He knew the plan better than anyone. Throw the ashes in a hole next to his mother's tomb, right before the cross and move on like his life had not ended with Dean's one. It was something easier to say than get done.

Mary would disagree with his plans. He was pretty sure of that. If she had lived, John and Dean would not have done the sacrifices they did, and they would all have a normal life.

He had lost too many people along the way. Jess, his father, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Ash,and many more people he had cared about. He could make a list of all the people he let down and hurt since the moment he existed. If destiny wanted to punish him for what he had caused on this world, sending his big brother to the death row was something unfair. He was the one that should pay for his mistakes.

A minute passed and he turned around, heading towards his brother was standing, talking to Cass. He read his lips as he did so, knowing that he said his name. Sam didn't have to be there to know what he was saying to the angel. He was putting the weight of taking care of him on Cass now.

It was not gonna happen though. He was a man now, and he could take care of himself,right? He had to, because Cass was gonna end up dead too. He was just a burden. He should have been the one with the bomb, not Dean. Sam's heart was beating faster then ever and he could barely breathe. He sensed the symptoms of a panic attack growing inside of him, making his whole body shake in desperation. Sam could not live a life without his brother. He simply couldn't, and if he was the one on Dean's shoes, knew that his brother would feel the same way. He would have tried a plan B, but Dean would not have let him do that. He made him a promise, and despite the fact that he did not want to do it, he bit his tongue. He owed Dean everything he had, yet he didn't do anything when his big brother had warned him about the decisions he had made when drinking demon blood, or had not forgiven him in the right time when he lied about Ezekiel,knowing what they would do for to save each other if needed. He was so stupid!

When Dean turned around to face him, he tried to keep himself together. He could not cry in front of him. The sound of keys let him know that Dean was giving him his most important object in the entire world. His "Baby", as he called her. Both of them had grown in it, sleeping on the seats when they ran out of money, and many more situations that he remembered with a smile now while growing up. He used to ignore those memories, but now he had embraced his life, the life that had been planed for him since the very beginning. He was a hunter, and no one would change that.

"Come on Sammy, no chick-flick moments" said Dean, handing him the keys of the Impala.

Sam stared at him for a moment, but seconds later looked down ashamed as a tear slid down his face, accepting the keys,placing them in the pocket of his jeans. He had to be strong for his brother. He had to pretend that he was okay, even if that was not the case. He had to be like Dean was when he jumped to the pit.

"Yeah, you love chick-flicks" murmured, as a shy smiled draw on his face.

"You're right. I love chick-flicks" said Dean", hugging him.

He hugged him back for the last time, feeling the heat of his body and the sound of his breathe right next to his ear. In that moment Sam felt completed, happy. He was home, and there was nothing he would change for that hug. He allowed himself to be Dean's Sammy, to be weak and be comforted by his big brother.

One hour later, the world was saved, but his world had exploded and turned into ashes. He would make sure that Dean became not only become a hero to the other hunters. He would become a legend...

 **Author's Note: Hey y'all! Here's a little one-shot I wrote a couple of days ago. Please, if you have a minute, let me know what you think ?** **ￂﾠ**


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